My Son is a Master Negotiator

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“Everything is negotiable. Whether or not the negotiation is easy is another thing.” — Carrie Fisher

When you think of great negotiators, who comes to mind?

Business people first, probably – entrepreneurs, bankers, lawyers, CEOs and other corporate moguls.

Then maybe government officials – world leaders, ambassadors, and peace brokers.

And then the less recognized but likely true masters of the craft – street market vendors, people who frequent yard sales, and that guy who wrote Never Split the Difference.

All of which are solid answers.

But the greatest negotiator of all time is actually none of the above. It’s my son, a toddler, aka “the master negotiator”. 

My wife and I started calling him this several months ago when we realized his tenacity for getting what he wants, and more, all the time.

Just the other day he finished dinner, a rather large meal for a 2-year-old, then shuffled across the kitchen to the open pantry, pointed to a box of cookies, and said, “I waaaaant…cookie.” 

“No cookies,” I say, “dinner all done.”

“Mmm, two cookies!” he replies, holding up three fingers.

My tone gets firm, “Oliver, no cookies.”

To which he counters, “Three cookies!” then “Five cookies!”

At no point in the negotiation did he back down from his original ask. He made no attempt to concede or split the difference. Instead, he immediately doubled down, then tripled, and finally 5x’d it.

No, he did not get any cookies, but damn did I admire his spunk.

He also tries this tactic when asking to play on his iPad. “I want game,” he says relentlessly, often at times with the worst possible chance of us saying ‘yes’ (usually at bedtime).

I guess in principle, he’s actually an awful negotiator. If he tried even a little bit to strike a deal, I’d likely cave. Cute faces have a way of doing that.

But that’s okay because at least he tries. He may not always get what he wants, but every now and then he bulldozes his way into an extra treat. I can’t be too mad because he’s learning that if he doesn’t ask for things, he doesn’t get them. Somehow I think he’s starting to learn this. 

Fortunately, my son, the master negotiator, never fears asking for things.

Quite a few people could learn from his determination.

Best,

Jason